Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Looking forward to 2011

I was going to do a “Living Robertly” year in review wrap- up, but then I took a gander back on the year that I would be reviewing and reconsidered. Rather, I’ve decided to jot down a few (three to be exact) looking forward notes.
1.       2011 will be the year of promoting my novel ‘Pairs’. My publicist is off to a bit of a shaky start, what with her placing it with various conservative Christian blog sites for review. Not that I have any issue with conservative Christians or their right to blog – it’s just that common sense would suggest that they might not be the most sympathetic audience for a book where the protagonist discovers her own bisexual inclinations and has a lesbian crush or where the third chapter is a post-coital scene between two men. The book is clearly not for everyone. And although I am prepared to receive criticism because of that, I’m not too keen on my publicist going out and pursuing it with conviction. Ever adaptive, she now believes that promoting to the gay & lesbian community is the way to go. Having been down this path with my first novel, I’m not so confident. My suspicion is that ‘Pairs’ won’t be gay enough. I may have written in a genre of one. If that turns out to be the case I will console myself with the knowledge that ‘Pairs’ is the best in its class.
2.       When Robert and I moved into our place in 2010 we had discussed the overall aesthetic that we were hoping to achieve. Knowing that I would be the one doing the cleaning, I opted for minimalism and Robert agreed…at the time. For a few joyous but all too fleeting months that is what we had. I could take a broom, sweep out the second floor, sweep the mess down the stairs, then into the kitchen and on through the rest of the main floor until finally whisking everything out the front door. I look back on those days fondly.  After achieving what I thought was the pinnacle of uncluttered comfort, Robert began his “cozy magpie’s den” campaign with the purchase of a rainforest load of plants. A jungle that, having started off in just two footholds on the main floor, has now spread far and wide. A large broad-leafed busybody with no sense of personal space now resides annoyingly behind the headboard of our bed. With the slightest excuse it clumsily brushes against my forehead and blocks my reading light while sneaking glimpses at any passage to which I happened to be opened. What’ch you got there? Hmm? What’ch you got? In 2011 I will try not to kill off any of them (with malice of forethought, anyway) in Robert’s absence. Particularly during this cold, soggy and all around miserable winter when he is away for an extended sojourn in warm and sunny Florida. Nope, not one.
3.       In 2010 I exchanged my doctor who told me that I needed to drop 5 more pounds for a doctor who has yet to tell me that I need to drop 5 more pounds. I feel that it is important to point out that my previous doctor was (and I assume continues to be) gay. Therefore, I am certain that the 5 pounds he suggested I lose was not to get me to my ideal heterosexual weight, but rather to get to my ideal gay weight – which, as everyone knows, is trimmer, more body conscious and vanity based. However, on the extreme outside chance that is not the case (i.e. it actually might be long term health related) - I plan on loosing 5 more pounds. It’s a clingy and gregarious group of pounds that has a propensity for merriment and inviting other pounds over. Nevertheless, I am determined. The plan for 2011 is fat eviction. Robert is so encouraging of this endeavor of mine that it practically feels like insistence.

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